Oh Balls!

So, I wished I've kept the confidence I had in December throughout the new year. Now that spring break is almost near, which is awesome because I'm going to New York! But it also means that graduation is creeping up. This scares the shit out of me because I'm bring a pussy. What I want to do is go to Australia and figure this film stuff out. I'm scared because I doubt my talent and whether I have the balls to make it out into the world. It scares me because I've never revealed to any of my closest friend that I want to go back to it. I don't know if it's my early quarter life crisis that is making me feel this way. I have anxiety that I'm wasting my time and money chasing a child dream. That I've never known what is hard work and have had everything handed to me. All these thoughts and anxieties are killing me and I could put it off for so long but there's a point where I'm running out of time. I hate that I'm immobilized by my fears and that my plan B is nonexistent. Lately, time is rushing so fast that I have nowhere else to run and hide. That I have to face the choices I have to make and realize that if I make a mistake that I can come back from it but it may or may not be easy. I just need to take a plunge.